I have been excited about the idea of this blog, but haven't written yet...I guess because I was nervous. But reading the posts so far has made me want to be like my fellow TAs even more than before... I am excited to contribute and read about everyone's stories... This blog is something that I think will truly be meaningful and rewarding to anyone who comes across it.
I am definitely new at teaching, and I am constantly questioning myself about what kind of job I'm doing...I get insecure about how I run the class, if I could be doing better....I am struggling right now with confidence, like Chris mentioned. I enjoy my classes and feel good about them as they're happening, but then I leave and wish I had engaged them more, or made a better point, or was more serious...insert any insecurity here.
I hear in our TA meetings (which are my favorite things in the world...) about the other sections and all the breakthroughs they are having. I am constantly thinking, how can I inspire them, but in my own way? I want to stick with my teaching style, but I feel like I am hitting a wall...my students seem to like me, seem to like the class...but are they really getting anything meaningful out of it? Are they seeing things differently? Have I shown them anything new?
Yet no matter how insecure or frustrated I get, I am SO thankful that I am having my first teaching experiences in this loving, encouraging environment...I could not have asked for a better place to feel safe and supported, and Dr. Choi and the other TAs truly inspire me. They remind me why I am in this graduate program in the first place: to make change through teaching the sociological imagination and encouraging critical thinking in others.
I know I will feel more confident with practice, and that as long as I am being genuine and trying to teach in a democratic way, I am doing the best I can. I am just so thrilled to be surrounded by such caring, intelligent people who have the same goals as I do. :)
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